bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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