O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
