I'm jealous of your bromance
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
