the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
