dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
