Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My bed smells like the plague
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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