Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just saw a hot homeless man
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
