she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
