The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
