i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
bring money and cleavage
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
