All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
