hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
