I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
