Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
