I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
