There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
