So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
