Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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