I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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