So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
