dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
