summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize