is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize