I wish I could teleport
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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