This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
