I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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