sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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