you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize