At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
