So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
