I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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