Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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