I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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