They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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