dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
