She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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