Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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