Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
