dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
