i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
