yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize