Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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