Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
