If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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