I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
