oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize