let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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