your parents love me but you hate me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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