I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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