You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
