The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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