turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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