grandma shit on top of the toilet
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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