was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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