It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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