I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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