I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
