Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
