all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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