My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
