It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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