It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
