I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
BRING THE BAGELS
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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