i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize
