omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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