Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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