Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize