I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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