her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
