i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
my liver is dry heaving
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
