why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
