He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
