i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
