Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize