Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
