Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
